Mankind becomes a protected species as the Irish Mammy prepares for extinction …..
By Conor Galvin
So here we are in 2022. The brave new world of gender quotas, outrage, lawsuits and tokenism. Home economics is no longer compulsory on the girls curriculum in schools. God help the young lads these days — meet the woman of your dreams only to realise she can’t cook! Dead as the dodo is the “Irish Mammy” …. A sad transition out of society for one of the most formidable species in the history of the universe. The Irish mammy was a counsellor, chef, financial advisor, psychologist, fitness guru, wooden spoon martial artist, pillar of community and all-round genius. The day of home raising kids is gone, instead the majority of children are thrust into the responsibility of some overworked, underpaid and underqualified creche worker. The very essence of human life depends on the nurturer. Children have morphed into social media tools — take enough selfies with your kids and win ‘Mother of the Month’ award. Give them a tablet, mobile phone and Xbox and let nature take its course. Roll on a few years as the same panicked parents ring Joe Duffy when they beloved teens crash and burn and they can’t get them an appointment with a psychotherapist. The great cycle of modern day heroes.
Totalitarianism now reigns supreme. Critical analysis is no longer allowed. Just like George Orwells ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’ the ‘Thought Police’ now persecute individuality and independent thinking. Fast forward to 2050 and get ready to drown in a new dystopian universe — the transgenders shall carry out the manual labour whilst the arch feminists run the planet! The race of mankind shall become practically extinct, small pockets will still exist as indentured slaves with a chosen few selected for procreation by mechanical extraction. The current soft-cock generation of men have a lot to answer for. It’s quite clear that women are on the rampage but surely every movement must have a counter movement …. “masculism” …. Ye wha! Yes folks, are there any masculinists in the audience!? Time to fight your corner! Tumbleweed ….
The modern movement is forcing strangulation across sporting organisations and boardrooms up and down the country. It’s feminism at gun point, the FAI face a 50% cut in funding if they don’t hit a 40% gender quota by 2023. The net result being a shambolic AGM and meltdown in operations. Perhaps Johnathan Hill and a few other male directors could solve the problem by coming out as gender fluid and identifying as women for 40% of the year. Surely this would satisfy the mob and ensure business as usual. The madness of it all is reminiscent of what happened in South Africa when racial quotas were introduced in the education system. A racially based admissions policy was forced upon medical schools where 69% of successful applicants needed to be black, 19% coloured, 9% Indian, 2% white and 1% ‘other. The net effect led to Indian and white students having to outperform their black counterparts by 25%. No doubt comforting for all the South Africans lying on a table facing open heart surgery that the best people are on the job.
Red Alert! This gender carousel isn’t slowing down any time soon and the collateral damage is not just limited to the male race. Over 800,000 Irish adults, mostly females are currently under prescription for anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications. Surely such a curve of progression should bring happiness and prosperity instead of psychological meltdowns. And then there’s the silent killer, the mini elephant under the mantlepiece. There is a campaign of psychological bullying against the modern day career woman, even those who wish to step off the carousel and take time out with their families are denigrated by their peers. It’s just not the modern way. Suck up the meds and keep marching towards the boardroom. Solider on in misery than admit defeat.
So Super Sunday approaches in a bumper day of ladies sport. Kerry face down Meath in the Ladies Gaelic Football decider whilst the Lionesses look to topple the mighty Germans in a sold-out Wembley. Both games have carved their way into the public consciousness over time with hard graft and careful nurturing. Their progress has been organic and each player deserves their just deserts. An extraordinary sight where the big screens on bank holiday Sunday will be dominated by ladies sport. It’s a genuine celebration of the female games and hats off to them. It’s a harbinger for the future where the lads will no longer be needed to provide such box office entertainment. Pretty soon the mens games will disappear from the television, such coverage belonging to a backward society. The brave new world keeps on rolling ….
