Careful now Lads, we can’t all be depressed….!
Well holy jaysus how did we find ourselves here! Who would have ‘thunk’ it! ‘Bravery’ in the bottlers association! If ye can’t get your head right for the big day then open a Twitter account, assemble a good PR team and the rest will take care of itself. ‘Bravery’ was used multiple times in the USA Gymnastics Federation statement as Simone Biles decided she couldn’t be arsed. Ye couldn’t make it up, bring back Allistair Campbell, all is forgiven! Naomi Osaka will no doubt have a new soul mate. “Sure jaysus Simone, I know how ye feel, all that pressure is just too much for us modern women” they clink their gin and tonics and laugh their way into the night. Their marketing gurus working furiously in the background to ghost write another supportive tweet for each other.
Osaka, the chosen one…. The wha!? Japan is a proud country with an incredible history of resilience yet they gave the honour to an athlete on self-imposed stress leave. Sure where would ye get it lads! And of course we all have to sit back and swallow it. Sure isn’t it 2021 and all that jazz! Torpedo the naysayers into oblivion and accuse them of racism, sexism, bigotry, homophobia, links to the holocaust, any damn thing that gets in the way of critical analysis! Sure we can’t have the walnut-salad-munchers and green tea drinkers getting upset this time of year. Not in this heat….
In the immortal words of Father Ted at the Lovely Girls Competition on Craggy Island “And doesn’t Mary have a lovely bottom? Of course they all have lovely bottoms.”
Depression and anxiety are part of life. Just ask any Mayo supporter. Perhaps they shouldn’t have played in the last 8 All Ireland finals and instead declared mental health instability. But they did. Sometimes humiliated, other times carried out on their shield. But at least the Bastards gave it a lash! “It’s okay not to feel okay” but that’s when champions are born. That’s living. Role models are not quitters.
So shove your online rhetoric up your hole. The wha!? Exactly. Trial by social media. Don’t get me started on those bastards! And it’s us Paddy-whackers that grant them free reign and tax shelter. Ireland is akin to the poor city slickers who met a terrifying ordeal in the movie ‘Deliverance’. We are currently in the process of “squealing like a pig.” Imagine the global figures for suicides on foot of social media bullying and harassment. Clerical abuse survivors are only in the halfpenny place! Feelings of inadequacy proliferate our young peoples conscience. Our young lions and lionesses have killed themselves over being targeted on social media platforms. Talk about inviting the snake into your kitchen….
And back to our friends in Tokyo! A great reminder of the true Olympic spirit. Irish boxer Emmet Brennan broke down in tears after his fight…the man who will return home to try pay off a credit union loan and rebuild his life. He followed his dream, failed in his mission but succeeded in life. He’s a fuckin hero. He will go home penniless and medal-less but nobody will ever forget his spirit. That’s what true role models are made of. Osaka and Biles are worth a lot of dough. And remember …. “It’s easier to cry inside a Mercedes than it is on a bicycle.”
I had a great last paragraph planned but fuck it anyway, mental health fears have kicked in and I couldn’t be arsed.
Ah yes …. Feeling braver already…..
